Anniversary night at home: ideas and a plan

An anniversary is the one holiday that belongs to just the two of you. No crowded restaurants, no set menu, no one else's idea of romance. That makes home the best place to celebrate it, because home is where your history is. You can cook the meal from your first date, play the song from your wedding or your first apartment, and spend the evening in a room you've set up for nobody but each other.

This guide covers what to do a week ahead, how to set the room, the three ideas that make an anniversary feel like yours (recreating a first date, letters, and a little hotel-suite polish), and a simple plan for the evening itself.

A week before

Most of the effort happens ahead of time, so on the night you're thinking about each other instead of a to-do list.

• Decide who's planning what. One of you can plan the whole thing, or you can split it: one plans dinner, the other plans everything after. Splitting it means you both get a surprise.
• Pick the night. If the date itself falls midweek, celebrate on the weekend and keep the day itself for a card and a toast.
• Sort the logistics. A sitter or a sleepover if there are kids, and a night when nobody has an early start.
• Order anything you need now. Candles, a new set of sheets, the ingredients for something special. Nothing ruins the mood like a missing ingredient at 6 p.m.
• Start on the letters. More on those below. They're better written over a few days than in ten minutes.

Set the room like a suite

You don't need a hotel booking to have a hotel night. Most of what makes a good suite feel special is easy to copy at home.

• Fresh sheets, pulled tight. The single most hotel-like thing you can do. Iron the pillowcases if you're feeling ambitious.
• A turndown. Fold back the covers at an angle, plump the pillows, and leave a note on one of them. It takes two minutes and it's the moment people remember.
• Low, warm light. Overhead off, lamps on, and candles somewhere safe, well away from fabric and curtains. The Lighting Planner builds a plan for your own room, and lighting a bedroom for intimacy covers bulbs and placement.
• Flowers, one small arrangement rather than a dozen roses. Something you'd both like to wake up to.
• Robes, if you have them. They make the whole evening feel like a weekend away.

Tall ivory tapers in simple gold holders are about as classic as anniversary lighting gets. Keep them on a stable, heatproof surface and never leave them burning in an empty room.

If you want the room to feel like this for longer than one night, Art Deco Glam and Boutique Hotel Suite are the two looks built for it. Our Valentine's Day bedroom setup goes into more detail on preparing the room a few days ahead, and it works just as well for an anniversary.

Recreate your first date

This is the anniversary idea that never gets old, and it's more fun the longer you've been together. Think back to your first date, or the first evening that felt like one, and bring as much of it home as you can.

• The food. Cook the meal you ate, or order from the same place if it's still open. If it was a slice of pizza on a curb, have pizza on the bedroom floor.
• The drink. Whatever you ordered that night, even if your taste has changed since.
• The music. The song that was playing, or the album you both had on repeat that year.
• The outfit. Wear something close to what you wore, or something that would make the person you were then look twice.
• The conversation. Ask each other what you remember. You'll each have kept different details, and that's half the pleasure.

If your first date was a disaster, recreate it anyway. Laughing about the parts that went wrong is one of the best things about being together long enough to tell the story.

Write each other letters

A letter is the gift people keep. It doesn't need to be long or polished. A page is plenty, and it helps to give it a shape:

1. A moment from this year. Something small and specific you want to remember, the kind of thing a photo wouldn't capture.
2. Something you've noticed about them. A way they've changed, or a way they haven't, that you love.
3. Something you're looking forward to. Next month, next year, or the next twenty.

Read them out loud to each other, then keep them together in a box or an envelope. In a year, read last year's before you write this year's. After a few anniversaries you'll have a record of your life together that no photo album can match. The Speeches Before Bed and Letters at the Foot of the Bed scenes are both built around saying these things out loud.

A simple plan for the evening

Adjust the times to suit you. The order is what matters: get ready apart, meet in the room, eat, say the important things, then let the rest of the night be yours.

1. 6:30. Get ready separately. One of you in the bathroom, the other finishing the room. Getting ready for an evening in has ideas for that half hour.
2. 7:00. Meet in the room. Candles lit, music on, the turndown done. Say what you noticed first.
3. 7:15. The first-date dinner. On the bed, on the floor, or at a small table by the window.
4. 8:15. Letters. Read them out loud. Take your time.
5. 8:45. One dance. Your song, in socks. Slow Dance in Socks is the scene for this.
6. 9:00. The rest of the night. The Anniversary Suite scene has three ways to take it, from a quiet night of dessert and talking to something more.
7. Before sleep. Each of you says one thing you're looking forward to next year.

Short on time, money or privacy?

• After the kids are asleep. Do the room while they're in the bath, eat after bedtime, and keep the music on in the background as a little cover. A lock on the bedroom door is worth having.
• On a small budget. Fresh sheets, a few candles and a home-cooked meal are most of the magic. A romantic bedroom makeover on a budget has more ideas that cost very little.
• When you only have an hour. Skip dinner, keep the letters and the dance. That's the part you'll remember.

A small gift, if you like

Gifts are optional, especially if you've written letters. If you'd like one, choose something you can enjoy together that night, like a candle, a record or a good bottle of something. The traditional first-anniversary gift is paper, which makes the letters a gift in their own right. Our gift guide lets you set the occasion and a budget.

Keep something from the night

The best anniversaries leave something behind. Keep the letters. Leave the lamps where they ended up if the room looked better that way. And if the evening made you want to change the bedroom for good, the Room Designer shows a new look on a photo of your own room before you buy a thing. By next year it could be the room you celebrate in, which is exactly what First Night in the New Room is for.

Wondering what to do for the rest of the year? Date night at home has twenty ideas for the nights in between.