Dessert in bed: chocolate, fruit and a warm pot

Feeding someone is one of the oldest ways to flirt, and it works just as well at home as it does in a restaurant. Dessert in bed takes that and slows it down: a tray of good chocolate and ripe fruit, one candle, and nowhere to be. It can stay sweet and silly, or it can turn into something else. Either way, a little planning keeps it fun instead of sticky.

This guide covers what to put on the tray, how to melt chocolate so it's warm and not hot, how to protect the bed, and what to keep in mind once dessert starts moving onto skin.

Start with the tray

Keep it small. Two people in bed don't need a buffet, and everything on the tray should be easy to eat with fingers.

• Good chocolate. A few squares of dark chocolate, plus a handful of truffles for the person who likes it sweeter.
• Fruit. Strawberries are the classic for a reason. Figs, ripe pears, cherries and orange segments are all good too. Wash and dry them first; wet fruit makes melted chocolate seize.
• Something salty. A few pretzels or salted almonds keep the sweetness from getting tiring. Ask about nut allergies first.
• Something to drink. Champagne, a dessert wine, cold milk, or water. Put a glass of water on each side of the bed no matter what else you're drinking.
• Napkins and a warm damp cloth. You will want both.

For eating in squares, a 70% dark chocolate is the easy middle ground: rich, not bitter, and it melts smoothly if you want to warm some later.

Truffles are the easiest thing to feed someone. They're one bite, they don't drip, and the soft center makes a good excuse to go slowly.

If you want something more special, small chocolate makers like Vosges and Compartés sell beautiful boxes and bars with unusual flavors. A box of those turns an ordinary night into an occasion.

Melting chocolate, safely

Warm chocolate is half the fun. It's also the part that needs care, because chocolate that's comfortable in a spoon can still be too hot for skin.

The easiest way is a small electric melting pot with a warm setting. Melt the chocolate, then switch to warm and let it sit for a few minutes before anyone uses it.

How to do it:

1. Chop the chocolate into small pieces so it melts evenly.
2. Melt it on low. Stir often. If it goes thick and grainy, it got too hot or met a drop of water; start over with fresh chocolate.
3. Switch to warm, or unplug it, and let it cool for a few minutes.
4. Test a drop on the inside of your wrist. It should feel warm, like bath water. If it makes you flinch, wait.
5. Paint it on with a fingertip or a clean pastry brush, never pour it straight from the pot.

A fondue pot works too, and gives you forks for the fruit. Keep it on its lowest setting; fondue pots can get very hot when they're set for oil.

No pot? A bowl set over a pan of barely simmering water works on the stove, and you can carry the bowl to bed. Thirty-second bursts in the microwave work too. Either way, let it cool before it goes anywhere near skin.

Protect the bed

Chocolate always finds the sheets. Lay something down before the tray comes out.

• A washable throw or blanket made for this. It goes on top of the bed and catches everything. You throw it in the washer afterward and the sheets underneath never know.
• Or two old towels, overlapped across the middle of the bed.
• Dark sheets help. If you plan to do this often, keep a set of dark sheets for dessert nights.

Keep the tray flat on the bed or on a nightstand, not balanced on someone's lap, and leave the melting pot on a nightstand or a heatproof surface. Never put a hot pot on the bed itself.

Taking it further

Once you're comfortable, dessert can move off the tray. A little warm chocolate painted on a shoulder, a wrist or the back of the neck, then kissed off, is a lovely way to slow things down. Take turns. Go slowly enough that it's half dessert and half kissing.

A few rules keep this fun:

• Outside only. Chocolate, syrup, whipped cream and other sweets go on skin, never inside the body. Sugar can upset the natural balance of the vagina and can lead to yeast or other infections. If you want to bring dessert lower, keep it to the outside and wash it off afterward.
• Chocolate and condoms don't mix. Chocolate contains cocoa butter, and milk chocolate also has milk fat. Oils and fats can weaken latex condoms. If things move toward sex with a latex condom, wash the chocolate off hands and bodies first and use a water-based or silicone lube.
• Ask about allergies. Chocolate often contains milk and soy, and many truffles are made near nuts. Read labels before you buy.
• Keep it away from eyes.
• Rinse off afterward. Warm water is enough. If anyone notices itching, burning or unusual discharge in the days after, check in with a clinician.

Making it an evening

• Agree on a pause word before anything starts, even if it all feels silly. It makes it easier to say "slower" or "not there."
• Say what each bite tastes like. It sounds like a small thing, but it keeps you both paying attention, and it's more flirty than it sounds.
• Blindfold one person. Feeding someone who can't see what's coming makes every bite a surprise. Our conversation cards have a few ideas along these lines.
• Shower together after. It washes off the sweet stuff and gives the evening a second half.

For a step-by-step version of the whole night, with a pause word, a tray, and three ways to take it depending on the mood, try the Dessert in Bed scene. If you'd rather start with warm oil than warm chocolate, read massage night at home. And for the room around the bed, our lighting guide covers the candles and lamps that make it all look good.